The Three Little Pigs (The Handwashing Version)

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. Now you may have already heard of these pigs. Others have written about them. Their story has been told before. These are the same three little pigs that once feared the big bad wolf. You may remember that the first little pig built a house of straw. The second little pig built his house of sticks. But the big bad wolf came along and he huffed and he puffed and he blew their houses down. They ran to the home of the third little pig, who offered them shelter in his house built of bricks. Together those three little pigs survived and saw no harm at the hands of the big bad wolf.

But that was a long, long time ago.

Shortly after the big bad wolf incident, the pigs threw a big celebration. They ate all the food in the house and when their cupboard was bare, they knew that they had to do something to fill it up again. They needed money to buy food. But in order to get money, they needed jobs. Jobs that were stable, and paid well.

So those three little pigs went to nursing school, graduated as RN’s, and went to work at their local hospital. And how that hospital needed them! Just like everywhere else in the world, there was a shortage of nurses, and an excess of patients. The World Health Organization had declared a pandemic. It was a terrible outbreak of… SWINE FLU.

So when those three little pigs went to work each day, they were faced with a new threat. The big bad wolf was far, far away, but the big, bad bacteria were looming everywhere.

One day, the big bad bacteria was feeling particularly ferocious. He had built of plenty of antibiotic resistance and he was ready to strike – ready to invade an immune system. He set his sights of the first little pig.

“Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Said the nasty old bacteria.

“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!” Replied the pig’s immune system.

“So you say,” the big, bad bacteria said with a sneer.

“I will huff and I’ll puff and I’ll fight my way in.

I will cling to your nails and I’ll stick to your skin.

Resistance is futile, I’ll certainly win.

So little pig, little pig, just let me in!”

The first little pig, determined to protect himself from the big, bad bacteria, went straight to the sink to wash his hooves. But he didn’t use soap. And he didn’t use friction. He just ran his hooves under water for five seconds, certain that it would flush all that nasty bacteria away.

But the little pig was wrong. And before he knew it, he wasn’t feeling so good. He spiked a fever and got the chills. And he ran wee, wee, wee, all the way home.

Now the second little pig saw what happened. He was determined to beat the big, bad bacteria. No sir, he wasn’t going to let them same thing happen to him. But then that nasty old bacteria set his sights on the second little pig.

“Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Said the bacteria.

“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!” Replied the pig’s immune system.

“So you say,” the big, bad bacteria said with a sneer.

“I will huff and I’ll puff and I’ll fight my way in.

I will cling to your nails and I’ll stick to your skin.

Resistance is futile, I’ll certainly win.

So little pig, little pig, just let me in!”

The second little pig went straight to the sink to wash his hooves. He did add soap, and he did rub them together vigorously. But he was in a hurry. He washed and washed, and when ten seconds had passed, he was certain that he had gotten all of that bacteria off of him.

But that little pig was wrong too. And before he knew it, he wasn’t feeling so good. He spiked a fever and got the chills. And he ran wee, wee, wee, all the way home.

Now that big bad bacteria was feeling mighty powerful. He had already tackled two little pigs’ immune systems. Surely a third would be no great feat. So he set his sights on the third little pig.

“Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Said the nasty old bacteria.

“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!” Replied the pig’s immune system.

“So you say,” the big, bad bacteria said with a sneer.

“I will huff and I’ll puff and I’ll fight my way in.

I will cling to your nails and I’ll stick to your skin.

Resistance is futile, I’ll certainly win.

So little pig, little pig, just let me in!”

But the third little pig just smiled. He went to the sink, got plenty of soap, and he rubbed and he scrubbed, vigorously… between his hooves, underneath his nails, even his wrists and forearms. And he counted.

“One, two, three, four, five,” the little pig counted.

The bacteria clung tight. It laughed and it sneered, mocking the little pig for even trying.

“Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,” the pig counted.

The bacteria just laughed and laughed.

“Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen,” the pig counted.

And the bacteria felt himself weakening. Something was happening. He was losing his grip on the pig’s hooves.

“Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen…” said the pig.

And the bacteria held on for dear life.

“Nineteen… and… twenty!” The pig said.

And at last, that nasty old bacteria could hold on no longer. It was gone. The pig’s hooves were clean. And he did NOT get sick!

When his shift was over, he ran wee, wee, wee all the way home to his sickly roommates, piggy one and piggy two. And since he was a great nurse, and a kind pig with a good heart, he took excellent care of the other two little pigs. He nursed them both back to good health. And as soon as they were well, he insisted that they go right back to work.

Because, what you probably didn’t hear from the first story, is that the third little pig DID have to take out a mortgage to build that house of bricks, and it was time for his roommates to pay up on the rent.

Thankfully, the first and second little pigs learned their lesson, and they never again skimped on handwashing.

And after their rent was paid in full, and the swine flu pandemic passed, all was well in the world again.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

The End

The moral of the story is…

When it comes to handwashing, there is a standard that must be met! Anything less than the standard simply isn’t good enough.

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Three Little Pigs Handwashing Version © 2009 Amy Glenn Vega – www.NursingNovellas.com

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